Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I Really Am Trying Hard
I believe that two necessary components to any successful relationship are communication and respect. Being the parent of two teenage boys often forces me to rethink how I live out these principals. Maintaining communication with them is more often than not difficult.
This week my husband and I have discussed on a few occasions amongst ourselves how often what we say, how we say it, and our actions affect the relationships we have. A lot of time we don't even realize this - not being able to see the trees for the forest type thing.
So, having laid that background, let me tell you how communication is going in our house this week. . .
I actually had what I would consider a very good conversation with my younger son one night. Just he and I at the dinner table. Questions were asked and answered candidly. Information from him was volunteered about other subjects. You know - an honest to goodness conversation that ends when everyone involved senses the goodness has come to an appropriate ending.
And then it occured again yesterday afternoon with my older son. He had arrived home from school alone - first time in the nine days of school. He was in his room when I returned from running errands, playing a video game. I entered his room and sensing no hostility I eventually sat in the chair next to him and watched him play. A few questions about the game were answered candidly and eventually more questions about school were answered likewise. He even volunteered information about other subjects. You know - an honest to goodness conversation that ended when everyone involved sensed the goodness had come to an appropriate ending.
I left the room feeling REALLY good about myself and the state of our world in general. Two good conversations in two days - it doesn't always happen that way in this world of parenting teenagers!!
Shortly after this my husband and I travel to PoHigh for our younger son's football scrimmage. Which also was encouraging. A head coach who was engaged in the boys and the action. Assistant coaches who also played their roles well. Boys who performed pretty well for their first outing of the season. Already a change of pace from last season.
Upon returning home I was no where near looking for a meaningful conversation with my boys. I mean, come on, I know when not to push my luck. But at some point in the evening - about the time my oldest was heading to take a shower - something obviously had altered the happy state of my little world. He was surly and exasperated with any spoken word from my mouth. He made his way to the shower letting his opinion be known.
And since I really am trying hard to work our way through this I turn to my husband and ask, "Does my tone of voice say 'kiss my (boohind)', because that is the tone I am getting back?!?!"
It takes him a couple of seconds to recover from laughing, but he assures me that he is not hearing that tone in my voice.
"Great, just checking."
Parenting is not for the faint of heart - or for those without a sense-of-humor!
simple faith
I believe that two necessary components to any successful relationship are communication and respect. Being the parent of two teenage boys often forces me to rethink how I live out these principals. Maintaining communication with them is more often than not difficult.
This week my husband and I have discussed on a few occasions amongst ourselves how often what we say, how we say it, and our actions affect the relationships we have. A lot of time we don't even realize this - not being able to see the trees for the forest type thing.
So, having laid that background, let me tell you how communication is going in our house this week. . .
I actually had what I would consider a very good conversation with my younger son one night. Just he and I at the dinner table. Questions were asked and answered candidly. Information from him was volunteered about other subjects. You know - an honest to goodness conversation that ends when everyone involved senses the goodness has come to an appropriate ending.
And then it occured again yesterday afternoon with my older son. He had arrived home from school alone - first time in the nine days of school. He was in his room when I returned from running errands, playing a video game. I entered his room and sensing no hostility I eventually sat in the chair next to him and watched him play. A few questions about the game were answered candidly and eventually more questions about school were answered likewise. He even volunteered information about other subjects. You know - an honest to goodness conversation that ended when everyone involved sensed the goodness had come to an appropriate ending.
I left the room feeling REALLY good about myself and the state of our world in general. Two good conversations in two days - it doesn't always happen that way in this world of parenting teenagers!!
Shortly after this my husband and I travel to PoHigh for our younger son's football scrimmage. Which also was encouraging. A head coach who was engaged in the boys and the action. Assistant coaches who also played their roles well. Boys who performed pretty well for their first outing of the season. Already a change of pace from last season.
Upon returning home I was no where near looking for a meaningful conversation with my boys. I mean, come on, I know when not to push my luck. But at some point in the evening - about the time my oldest was heading to take a shower - something obviously had altered the happy state of my little world. He was surly and exasperated with any spoken word from my mouth. He made his way to the shower letting his opinion be known.
And since I really am trying hard to work our way through this I turn to my husband and ask, "Does my tone of voice say 'kiss my (boohind)', because that is the tone I am getting back?!?!"
It takes him a couple of seconds to recover from laughing, but he assures me that he is not hearing that tone in my voice.
"Great, just checking."
Parenting is not for the faint of heart - or for those without a sense-of-humor!
simple faith
# posted by simple faith : 2:11 PM
